Morning Reads for Tuesday, November 22, 2016

Good morning! Have you voted on a name for the baby panda twins (“Panda McPandaface” is not an option)?

• Today is when you need to start thinking about where and/or how you are going to brine your turkey. And also maybe confirm that it’s not a Terrorist Turkey.
  • If the story behind these Hezbollah-connected turkeys wasn’t so horrifying, the Presidential Turkey Pardon jokes would write themselves. But it is, so they don’t.
• “The Quotable Jeff Sessions.”
• …Meanwhile, here are some of my favorite Thanksgiving recipes and tips, as seen in last year’s pre-Thanksgiving morning reads.
• Thanksgiving in America.
• The Upshot ponders what happens if Obamacare is actually repealed.
  • …Meanwhile, one model of care in Savannah delivers better patient care at a lower cost.
• When gigabit internet comes to a city, internet access typically becomes less expensive for everyone.
• The dream of bringing Amtrak’s Sunset Limited train back to the Gulf Coast chugs onward towards reality.
• Backlogged untested rape kits are finally being tested, resulting in hundreds of rape convictions.
• The price tag for cleaning up post-Matthew in Chatham County hit $22 million.
• There are no hate crime laws in Georgia; hate crimes in Georgia are up.
  • They’ve increased tremendously in Cobb County – but this may be more of an issue of how Cobb’s law enforcement officers categorize “hate crimes,” which, again, aren’t legally a thing in Georgia.
• A conversation with Bill Shipp, who was inducted into the Georgia Writer’s Hall of Fame earlier this month.
• …Meanwhile, here’s an interview with a guy who makes $10,000 a month posting fake news on Facebook.
• UGA has a new Rhodes Scholar.
• The City of Cordele tackles the question of how to address abandoned houses in their community.
• If you are a younger GenXer, or an older Millennial, or a Boomer who had children in the late 1980s, or babysat children in the 1980s, or ever spent any time in a house with children in the 1980s – so, if you were a sentient being who spent time near a television set during the late 1980s (and early 1990s), you might be interested in the A.V. Club’s oral history of Nickelodeon’s Double Dare obstacle course.
  • “I can’t eat whipped cream to this day. I can’t smell it, and I can’t look at it.”
• The annual holiday parade in Jacksonville, North Carolina, featured a float full of pole dancers.
  • This article is also why it is critical to support your local newspaper.
• Cephalopods are terrifying but that doesn’t mean they should be eaten alive.
• “Another black president says goodbye to Washington.”
• …Meanwhile, VP-Elect Mike Pence makes it clear that he is not a maiden in need of defending.