The Party of Life: Just a Brand or the Heart of We Are?
Today will be an emotionally charged day in our State.
I am unashamedly pro-life. I have friends on both sides of the issue. I have friends who have had abortions and friends who have carried babies to term who died within moments of birth in their arms. This is a hard issue. It’s an uncomfortable conversation. And as Conservatives, it’s a conversation we navigate poorly.
As our Nation and our State wrestle with the issue of life, the GOP, conservatives and the Christian Right, have to make a shift. Perhaps for some it’s merely a messaging shift. But, for others, it is perhaps a foundational shift. We shout “Pro-Life” from the proverbial rooftops (AKA the pulpit, Facebook, Twitter, etc…), but we are physically unmoved by our own talking points.
It’s not enough to champion mothers to carry their babies to term and deliver. We don’t get to say “Hooray! We saved a baby!” and then walk away. Our job isn’t over. If our goal is to make abortion unimaginable in this state and in this country, if the “brand” of the GOP is “life”, then we have to create a talk that we walk. We have to look at women and say “You already have everything you need to be an amazing mom AND we are going to walk with you.” And I don’t mean just financially or simply referring them to a government agency, although we can and should be doing more in these areas. I mean doing life with these mothers and their families and supporting them as they navigate motherhood. Helping them to juggle work, parenting, and a budget. It’s more than dropping off diapers at your local pregnancy clinic and it’s more than donating money to “the cause”. It’s about community. We should be taking DFCS classes and becoming certified to be foster parents, resource parents, and respite parents. We should be committed to walking through life with our neighbors as they raise their babies.
We talk about “breaking the cycle”; the cycle of poverty, the cycle of one parent families, the cycle of drugs and addiction. But where are we? How are we actively, physically, as individuals addressing this issue?
And this “we” I am referring to is not the royal “we” or a “we” that rests it’s haunches on the Government. I mean me and you. I mean me and you and our Sunday school classes and our churches at large and our County GOP and your group of parents at your kid’s school and our next door neighbors. How are we as communities, churches, corporations, civic organizations, and charities a part of the solution? Do you have a YoungLives or YoungLife organization in your area? Are we spending time with folks in our communities and mentoring young people? Are we aware of who our neighbors are and what their challenges might be?
If we are truly pro-life, we must change the conversation. We, as Conservatives, as the Church, as people, have to make a cultural shift that takes us from condemnation to mercy and grace. We have to have hard conversations with more love and grace and less judgement and condescending overtones. We have to make space for those who think differently than we do. We have to shift the conversation from babies to life in all areas. We have to be for the heart beat from conception to death after a long life on this earth.
Recently I was told “If I had heard from society that there was a support system for me as I raised my child, I might not have had an abortion.” My heart stung. We can talk about personal responsibility all day long. We can talk about conservative principles until the cows come home. But until we are a society that shifts away from a nation of strangers mentality to a society that is willing to roll our sleeves up and get our hands dirty along side our neighbors, our words will ring empty and fall on deaf ears. If we want to shift the conversation from Women’s Rights to Human Rights, then the Conservative movement must tackle the issues within the foster care system and our healthcare system, we have to work with our judicial system to keep families together, and take on personal responsibility in a way we never have before.
We can be Pro-Life. But we have to love more than the baby phase. We have to love them in elementary school, middle school, and high school. We have to love them through first jobs, home work, and bad decisions. And we have to love their moms and dads too. We have to love people and be willing to admit that we are not all born with the same opportunities.
The General Assembly has some great legislative initiatives this session that strengthen the family and focus the mission of the Department of Family and Children Services. But, let’s take it a step further. Let’s be a state with people who are committed to life. All life. Let’s be in it for the long haul. If we are the party of Life let’s be committed to personally, as individuals, making a foundational shift that’s more than messaging and throws us into life changing action.
About Author
Theresa Garcia Robertson
Wife. Mama. Foodie. Political Junkie. Southern Enthusiast. Taco Lover.
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There might not be anything more difficult to discuss in American politics than abortion. If you truly care about the issue, as the author here clearly does, it is a sober and gut-wrenching discussion with no easy answers. Those on either side who spout platitudes quickly are not adequately considering the gravity of this issue. I applaud the author for approaching this topic with the delicacy it deserves.
In that vein, I wish to offer my opinion. From the outset, I hesitate. First and foremost, I am a man. And I really dislike it when men pop-off about abortion, because it’s an intimate issue that will never truly affect a man the same way it affects a woman. Yes, men have rights in relation to children. But let’s face it – a large percentage of women contemplating abortions are doing so with knowledge that the father will not be involved with the baby. It’s problem as old as time – deadbeat dads get to skip town while the mom carries the child and rears the child alone. There are many other reasons, obviously, why a debate about pregnancy and abortion are more fundamental to a woman than a man.
And this is the first problem with the Republican party’s debate on this issue. Far too many pro-life politicians are men spouting off about abortion without the requisite sensitivity. If I could just hear a pro-life male politician say “Look, I get it. I’m a man. And men are really not in the best position to opine on a woman’s body, however, I do believe fundamentally (x, y, and z),” there would be a lot better discourse. But too often, especially from the pro-choice perspective, there are old white men telling women what to do without the requisite sensitivity.
There are other issues, as well. If we want to reduce the number of abortions in this state and this country, and I really, really do, then let’s have more open and frank conversations about contraceptives and sex-ed. Let’s reduce the likelihood of unwanted pregnancies, even if ever so slightly, by being much more honest about sex, even with middle school aged children (perhaps as early as 7th grade).
The Christian right seems to think that sex before marriage is a sin. Maybe it is. But that’s totally irrelevant to how we should govern. Even if you don’t like teenagers having sex, news flash – – teenagers are going to have sex. They have since the dawn of time, and they will until the end of time. No bible thumping will stop that. So, instead of living in a christian-right fantasy, let’s be honest and open about the realities of sexuality. And if our #1 goal is to reduce the number of abortions, can’t we put our personal religious feelings about sex aside, and say “I’m willing to do whatever it takes to improve the situation.” If you are anti-abortion, you should be very much pro-contraceptive. If you want to reduce the number of abortions in this state, you should want high schools handing out condoms in the hallways. I really mean this. And of course, there must be education about sex. You can’t just hand teens condoms without any context. I think our schools and churches can do a much better job about this.
Finally, what the pro-life movement misses most unfortunately, in my opinion, is the inevitability of abortions, regardless of legality. Abortions have existed for a very long time, perhaps as long as pregnancies have existed. In western society, abortions have been illegal for hundreds of years in the past. But guess what – abortions still occurred. As we all know, outlawing something doesn’t make it go away. So if you claim to be pro-life, think about the life of the young, terrified mother facing a choice about her pregnancy, who then decides to go to a back alley or perform some make-shift procedure on herself. If we outlaw abortions, more women will die. Again, more WOMEN will die – not men.
Instead of outlawing abortion, as Georgia is essentially about to do, we should take a much grander approach that focuses on reducing the number of abortions that actually occur. If the right has that conversation it will be much more successful.
It is hard. I’ve tried to comment about 3 different times and can’t find the right words.
Mainly I just wanted to say something to the effect that no one really wants more abortions, or even any abortions, so even us on the pro-choice left can and should work harder at minimizing the circumstances in which abortion is contemplated.
Most of us do. We support science based sex education and easy/early access to contraception. Both of which are proven to be the most effective ways to reduce the abortion rates (and teen pregnancies). For a number of reasons, neither of these are widely supported by conservatives.
The rosy rhetoric is the most responsible “pro-life” take I’ve heard. Better funding for public services would be helpful. The outright banning of abortion (or regulating it out of existence) is the absolute wrong way to accomplish this goal.
Thank you Theresa. Great post.
I know a lot of pro-life people who do the things you recommend, but we must do more. ALL pro-life people need to be doing what you say.
Thanks, Buzz. Randy and I have done these things too. You’re right, we do need more buy in from folks.
Georgia has the highest maternal mortality rate in the nation. By denying women the option of abortion, you are asking that they put their very lives on the line to go through with a pregnancy they do not want. How is that pro-life? How is that caring for women?
You also assume in this article that if we just support women they can all be great mothers – plenty of women end up pregnant who have zero desire to be pregnant and/or be mothers (and yes, this is despite birth control and all the other ways women actively try to not become pregnant). Why should they be forced to continue on with a pregnancy (again, especially in the state of Georgia, at the risk of their personal health and life) based on the personal/moral/religious beliefs of someone else?
You don’t have to be ‘make abortion illegal/pro-life’ to do these things.
I’m a strong believer that abortion should be legal, safe and rare. In order for ‘rare’ to happen we as a country, state, county, and local community need to make sure some basic things happen – we help prevent pregnancies and we must give women and/or their families the support they need to either raise a child, or allow adoptions to happen more often – all without judgement.
Some of my greatest achievements in this world happened through the time I spend teaching mothers basic life skills most of us take for granted. I’ve mentioned this before. It can be as simple as showing a 22 year old mom of 3 how to balance a bank account, explain how a credit score works and affect your world, setting up a simple budget, or cooking on WIC. I believe giving women tools that lead to being a better version of themselves, will also create respect and confidence, not only in themselves – but they become roll models for their sons and daughters. Teens who know how to make goals, have skills and tools make better choices and have better understanding of what happens in the long run when they make good choices and bad choices.
The hardest part I have in teaching these women is to withhold judgement on how they got to that point in their lives when I met them. “No way would I ever date a guy like that…’, “you didn’t press charges why?’, ‘my cousins where raised without a father and didn’t …’. I say two things to myself when I catch myself doing this, “that ship has sailed’ and “but for the grace of God, this could be me”.
Slightly less then half of all women in this country have their births paid for by Medicaid. Half. My home state of Wisconsin is over 65%, in a state that is 90% white. It’s not all immigrants and urban populations that are doing all of the government paid for birthing. Instead of saying to yourself, “My money – which I earned, is flipping the bill for a women to have babies that are then going to be drains on my tax dollars”; remind yourself that every one of these women had a choice. They picked life.
“We have to love them in elementary school, middle school, and high school. We have to love them through first jobs, home work, and bad decisions. And we have to love their moms and dads too. We have to love people and be willing to admit that we are not all born with the same opportunities.”
I love that statement. This idea is not a political or party standard. At least it shouldn’t be. It’s more then being a ‘party of life’ or a ‘party of choice’. That thinking allows folks to think ‘my party likes life better then your party’ or ‘my party doesn’t make government in charge of my body’, which only alienates. We need to be a ‘community of living’. Being born, and having life is step one. Living involves surviving, thriving, learning, achieving, failing, forgiving, helping, caring and understanding. Sometimes that means giving on our parts. Giving of your time, giving of your talents, giving of your treasure. It also means excepting. Excepting people make poor choices sometimes. Excepting not everyone is as strong and fortunate as you. Excepting that everyone, regardless of age, nationality, legal status, or their past, is a life that might need help. Including you.
It seems like everyone arguing against abortion thinks that everyone who gets one or contemplates one is making a financial decision or is using abortion in place of birth control. (Who would do that if they have an actual choice?)
The thing is, there are abortions for other reasons too.
With this law, I will be left with exactly 2 choices. Either refuse to have sex with my husband of 27 years OR take a risk that I will destroy my health for the rest of my life.
Yes, I have children I desperately wanted. I was one of those high-risk moms that refused an amnio because I knew it carried risk and I wasn’t going to abort even if it showed a problem. My children are wonderful and awesome.
But
That was then, this is now.
I’m in my 50’s. I am fully capable of getting pregnant. I use a birth control method that is rated at 98% effective with “perfect” use. I have a chronic medical condition. I believe that attempting to carry a pregnancy would put me in bed by the second trimester and has a very real chance of making me bedridden for the rest of my life. There is no way I could take care of an infant, much less a toddler, much less one with birth defects due to my age.
If I were to become pregnant, I am currently faced with two choices – 1) ruin the rest of my life knowing that not only wouldn’t I be able to be a mom to my current children, I wouldn’t be able to be a mom to any additional child or 2) have a chemical abortion as soon as possible. You are taking option 2 away from me leaving me with only option 1.
So, since you want to be in control of my life – which would you choose if you were in my shoes?
No sex with your husband?
Bedridden for the rest of your life?
Early pregnancy abortion?
Life is complicated. That’s why Roe vs. Wade is a compromise bill that allows me the privacy to make the right decision for me and my family and my body with the advice of my doctor until a fetus is capable of living outside my uterus. Once a fetus is viable, I lose my right to privacy and the law gives you the control over my body you want to have. Why are you demanding the right to ruin my life?
Using government as maker and enforcer of rules, and private charity as mitigator (later and after the fact—by which I mean heartbeat legislation now, we’ll fix the other things later), is not the way to do it. And government mitigation is socialism.
I appreciate the appeal, but just as the requirement there be a wall before addressing amnesty for dreamers, there’s little reason to think that anything will be done later, unless support is lessened from what is available now. Good luck.